Miss Magnifique!!

Monday, 2 April 2012

Playing With Words

Assalamualaikum Warahmatullahi Wabarakatuh
Dengan Nama Allah Yang Maha Pemurah Lagi Maha Penyayang


this is something crazy.
out of my mind. out of no where. i dont know what i was thinking when i'm writing this post. this is for who can understand. this is for who ever can feel what i'm writing for. it might be for you, but it might not be you. it might be for my readers here, and it might be for whom who will never know about my blog.

i wanna talk about the journey. the journey that have no time. the journey that some people might think its an illusion or delusional thinking. i dont care if its exist or not. because now, i and you are living in the present.

but, we cant deny that sometimes we can feel the deja vu. or maybe we feel that we are related to something or someone in the past. i dont know what you believe in, back then, i'm afraid to trust, this deja vu thingy thing.
i'm afraid to explore this kind of journey. i'm afraid that i might be lost. i'm afraid to learn new things in this present of my lifetime. i just want to believe what people are saying.
i just want to believe like everyone else believe in.

but, if i continue like this. i will not be me anymore. i will be a person that just same with anyone else. and i dont want to be the same. i dont want to lose my self value. if you understand what i mean.

i was lost. i was afraid.

but then, Allah open my mind. open my heart. and open my eyes. to see things. to understand things. to feel every vibrate.
even i know all these thing years and years ago, since my mama was healthy and alive. but i never wanna talk about it. i never want to believe in it. coz i'm so afraid.

the journey is so unreasonable for our small brain. it is so out of the box that i just dont know how to explain. and i never wanted to open the box. and it will just remain as my imagination in my imaginary world.

but, years after years...
when i'm reaching 20.
when i'm at the end of my 20 years.
the deja vu, or the feeling came back again.

at first i dont even realised it. but day after day, when i realised it. my mind was stuck. because i dont even know what was happening. why every words of yours i feel like i'm related to it.
but i'm a girl who always play i-know-nothing.. 
i just let it passed by. because it will be so absurd for me to say all those thing.

but Allah make me understand something when i'm reading a book. something that really hard to explain. 
but little by little i can relate to it. little by little i understand what was happening. bit by bit i can accept things that happened in my concious mind or subconcious mind or unconcious mind.

we are not together in this 'present' because we were never be in 'past'. nor i think we would be in 'future'.
maybe we have some 'conflict' in past, that i will never know in this 'present' nor i wanted to know about what the 'conflict' was.
that's why when we 'met' again in this 'present', yea, we feel related but then again, the thing will never be right.

i'm quite sure, how am i in this 'present' resemble me in the 'past'.when its about 'feeling', i'm a zero. and i hurt so many people and maybe its including you.

or maybe, because i think i know who i belong to. 

whatever it is or it was, i may not be understand you, but i think i can feel it.

and again, 'past', 'present' and 'future', let us be just friend..:)

and after becoming 21 years old lady, i gain bit by bit confidence in myself. i am more aware, that i am never alone. 
there is and always have people are like me. all over the world...:)
***


hahahahha..
okay tak english aku?
mesti banyak grammar error kan?
okay tak aku nak buat cerita pasal ni?
er, i guess, this is my next coming project, untuk menulis?
hahahahaha~

sincerely,
me, M.

36 comments:

Liselle MonCherie said...

It is beautiful!
The abstract of feelings are described perfectly by you.
Emotions are the most complicated treasure all times,like a puzzle that can't be solve.:).
Deja Vu,a mystery that connects people.

cik dila.. said...

*two thumbs up..pndai english.hehe.
sori , da lama tak bw..busy sikit.:P

kiera'sakura said...

apa yg cuba disampaikan sampai pada saya...

buat cerita? saya menunggu :)

alya_sygs said...

amboii speaking.. blur mate nii

Domu-kon said...

i've might be a right person to understand what'd you say.. but i do believe.. people that have higher imagination would love to read it.. keep it up..

there is a novel titled,"A thousand splendid sun"written by Khaled Hosseini.. his words are amazing.. maybe can help you in imprving ur skils..

however it is, keep writing sis.. :)

Haruno Hana 하나 said...

akak teruskan niat akak.. Hana sokong dr belakang.. ur English is not bad ^_^ improve urself..

aku HaniAsyira said...

deja vu.. yeah.. sometime we feel about that rite.. ur english better than me.. =)

keep it in writing yeah.. I always support u.. if u want me to be pom-pom girl, its ok.. I will be there.. =)

go, go, go Miss M..!!

Saya mEmang suka Menuliz:D said...

Deja vu...very-very mysterious words for me...i don't know but i know that everything that happed around u and also me must have a good and bad things to..finally it depends to urself as to except what had happened or not..ur are right life i can conclude as a puzzle..sometime we can feel sad..and sometime happy..btw believe that everyone care 4 u..

Mizz ErMa said...

ok sangat dah tu..kot? sy pon kadang2 penah jgk alami benda2 yg macam nih tapi tak kita sedari sgt la kan..

Nong Andy said...

haha.. akak memang teruk sikit english. baca ni umpama mengeja :)

tulis.. jgn x tulis.. kau tau di mana kelebihanmu kan? :)

Wawa Tasliman said...

good entry.. :)

Miss Purple Ungu said...

adik mmg berbakat dlm penulisan
cuba tulis satu novel pulak :)

eita said...

wow...dasat speaking london tu...

Juliet_iRa~" said...

heee..okay sgt dahh..:)

keep it up!

ada idea je cpt2 tulis..heee

NOOR FATIN said...

saya xpandai speaking. hakhak tapi paham la apa awak cite :)

bersabar, insyallah, ada yang terbaik untuk awak ^^

Nur Kiasatina ^_^ said...

Wahh,, pndai je die speaking . hehe :DD

Donee ! :DD
http://secret-domokun.blogspot.com/

EL MARIACHI said...

deja vu - resemblance nominalis - spiritual = universal

lisa said...

Rasa terharu kejap. you're good in english ;) keep it up, ada lah sikit2 grammatical error but its okay! hehe even me was not this good you know :-) keep faith to Allah :)

Aishah Jahirah said...

english akak tunggang langgang dik...lama xdengar perkataan dejavu ni.....M ni knowledgeable,hasil rajin membaca banyak ilmu barukan.:)

deno said...

wah... bagusla M punye english.. sis pun tak pandai mcm M.. takut nak buat kat blog, nanti org gelakkan.. hehe.. good.. M boleh teruskan..!:)

Puan Besar Shag Yahaya said...

Practice makes perfect sayam. All the best and keep on writing :D

Lea Terpenyet said...

jom2 nak speaking gak.hoho.when things seem to be misplaced, when u think u've lost urself, where u r neither here nor there, when things just dont go like they supposed to..remember Allah is still there 4 us to rely on :)

adan said...

aku tak tau sgt cakap english ni.. tpi aku faham je apa yg ko taip dlam entri ni.. teruskan menulis..

Awan Biru said...

All the best. Just keep moving.

chemay said...

deja vu.
sebenarnya deja vu tuh apa ya M?
=.=

Mr.Clive said...

xpe...salah grammar tu perkara biasa.dari situ kite improve lagi... :)
jgn takut buat salah...hoho

anyway,as u grow older u'll come to terms with so many things in life.and in time,u'll be wiser and more matured.problems that seemed too unbearable before would seem much lighter eventually.

take your time.at the same time, be strong because He will not give us something that's too hard for us to handle... :)

Take care,dear

Choki said...

Grammar mistakes are normal.Don't worry bout it.At least Kak M try drpd yg lain tu tu nk langsung ;-)

Deja Vu.Trust me,happened to me lots of times.Some were good,some were bad.But juts go with the flow Kak M,k? It's life! XD

Good!! Take up writing..Btw, I have 2 stories coming up in my blog Insya-Allah ;-)

Akue Achik said...

books can help us too..

it`s called bibliotheraphy.. :)

learn it before..it`s good. ^^

kay_are said...

waah.. taip dalam london tu.. em.. tapi bende2 macam deja vu ni memang pernah gak r rase tapi wat tak reti sangat.. mungkin just tak sengaje kot.. tapi kalau sume tu just sekadar ayat yang ditullis, rasenye memang ade bakat dalam penulisan.. so teruskan!

L said...

urmm im so so so ley soley... hahaha. kenapa la dalam bi... kenapa x dalam arab ker.. huuu. L xpaham.. urmm

jom tambah ilmu..=)

http://lolz-l.blogspot.com/2012/04/kalau-lah-kita-faham.html

teha said...

oke laa tu... confident jee sis tulis entry dlm english.. kite xberani nk tulis dlm english sbb english kite mmg tunggang terbalik sikit.. hahahahha !

ghost writer said...

aku nih paham jer english, tapi nak nulisnya hancur. :)

Prettywrite said...

ni bukan okay dah ni..ni dah tahap A+++ dah ni..hehe..M deja vu tu apa k.yana pun tak tahu..hehe..ni ada relates dengan someone and something kan?pasal feelings?ahh teka jer lah..heee

Azee Hana said...

saya x berapa nak pandai english..so ,,semua betul la tuh grammar awak..haha
nway,,salam kenal.=)

missSenget said...

sama macam ghost..! nk cakap lagi la hancur lebur terus..


owh..jeles..!

SYIRA RAHIM said...

it just wow. taktahu nak ckp apa lagi. seriously sangat bagus :-)

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