Miss Magnifique!!

Saturday, 11 August 2012

Keep Growing Up Through Changes

Assalamualaikum Warahmatullahi Wabarakatuh
Dengan Nama Allah Yang Maha Pemurah Lagi Maha Penyayang


i have so many story that i want to write, but right now my mind is blank. so i dont know how will this post would be...
if sudi, please read sampai habis, if tak sudi, okay fine... it doesn't matter.. i can't force you to read my post anyway, kan? teehee~

lama gila dah i tak post... i miss my blog.. i miss all of you punya blog..:)

i have found out, the reason why my aunt nak support my study... 
its because of my zine... yes... at first, aku sendiri tak sangka and sangat terkejut... but yeah... she said, she want to change my life to much more better life... 

still remember the first person who bought my zine was my cousin, poo.. and dalam zine tu ada tajuk khas untuk dia, P.N.I.Z...
so, walaupun dia orang pertama beli, but her mother was the first person who read it. like yeah...seriously...

ofcourse lah aku malukan.. i mean, there's no one really knows how i'm feeling inside.. i mean, terutama orang-orang yang lebih dewasa... even to the closest person to me pun, not really knows what happened inside me... 

maybe mungkin dia baca puisi bertajuk, Aku ingin Terbang kot.. membuatkan my aunty really wanna help me out... and maybe ada satu kispen bertajuk Back Then in 2009... yang membuatkan dia tahu, i really want to study...

then dia ada tanya, did i really saw the scene... dalam salah satu kisah dalam zine tu.. sebab dalam zine tu, i didn't give out any details tau macam yang aku tulis dalam blog.. i mean, pembaca kat sini semua dah tau what happened to me when their reading my blog... jadi kebanyakan dalam zine tu, its something tersirat.... but i guess, you guys yang follow my blog since last year, tau who was who on the zine..
i said yeah, and she asked me, was it the time that my mom sampai masuk hospital.. i said i dont know, coz i dont remember...i only remembered the scene...because it is my nightmares...

i think, the zine telah Allah jadikan sebab untuk change my life.. and Allah sediakan someone untuk help me out.. and really, aku sangat-sangat bersyukur...:)

at first, i have full of doubts to sell my zine... aku terfikir, is it really okay untuk jual the zine? i mean like, i make myself crystal clear to everybody... sedangkan before this, no one can even see anything from me... i think that i covered myself so well.. and i started to open up, since last december, if i'm not mistaken..

aku macam rasa, what the heck did i do? and i guess, setiap perkara ada hikmah yang tersembunyi... and bila aku mula jual zine, and rupa-rupanya ada seorang pembaca tu mempunyai niat untuk melihat aku lepas dari 'sangkar emas' but of course in a good way...:)

you know what, this is the best thing that a person can hadiahkan untuk aku... which is knowledge, and kesanggupan untuk tanggung kos belajar aku... and like seriously, i dont even know how to thank her and said that i'm so thankful and i really appreciate whatever things she did to me....:')

Alhamdulillah, setakat ni the zine dapat komen yang agak baik.. thank you...:)

untuk beberapa minggu ni, aku jalani kehidupan yang agak best, stress, paranoid, takut, penat, menyeronokkan and everything,... there was so many things happened in my life... 
but i have a great time... i've through a great journey... and i love it.

and aku lebih bersyukur, because there is someone beside me untuk tolong aku.. sebab aku sambung belajar ni pun dengan poo.. jadi, you guys tau kan my eyes condition... i couldnt see the words in white board... jadi, bila tang notes je... aku akan cuba dengar dengan baik dan salin, and selebihnya aku akan copy the notes from my cousin..
so its quite easy, lebih-lebih lagi she understand my situation well.. and she knows me well.,.:)

i dont know whether i able to finish my diploma or not.. for now, i dont care... sebab i will cherish every moment and every knowledge that i'm learning... and i will try my best... and i will work hard and study hard... 

walau macam mana pun aku cuba take something easy... tapi, i am a person who is really serious with life.. and who will do a lot of things just to grow up, change, learn and feel...

i might be the person who not really know how to change, and maybe always in my comfort zone... but then, i will work and try harder, to make myself more flexible and keep growing up through changes...

Alhamdulillah... i appreciate my life... Alhamdulillah, thank you Allah for giving me this chance...
thank you Aunty Dee, sebab tolong m untuk terus maju... thank you so much....:') i know i'm not good with words when i speak..but insyaAllah, one day i will write all this moment and all my appreciation to everyone that involved in my life..:)


sincerely,
me~

26 comments:

Akue Achik said...

tgh smbung study? all the best.. :)

kamu boleh! insyaAllah.. ^^

EL MARIACHI said...

sambung study? Good for you dear...

Leeza dayasari [santai leeza] said...

teruskan belajar ke menara gading... fighting!!

Nur Sakura said...

aja aja fighting... heheeh.. best luck of u...

Miss Purple said...

Tahniah. You can do it. All the best in your study!!! =)

Iffah Afeefah said...

erm tulah kalau baik utk awk amik jela

the malay male said...

panjang sangat ni... huhu

.........cP~ said...

Salam.

Alhamdulillah. Tahniah2..All the best untuk kamu..!

Ayiesha Sani said...

gud luck dear:-)

si kiut lavender said...

teruskan berjuang seboleh mungkn utk belajar ya dear..:)

aku HaniAsyira said...

setiap yang berlaku ada hikmah kan.. see that.. moga kita dpt jumpa jugak one day.. =)

O CIKTEDDY said...

Alhamdulillah..Allah dh beri peluang ni utk akak..setelah sekian lama..all the best kak!

zera eira said...

wish you the best luck miss m dear. :)
i miss you. lama ta update kan. :')

reenapple said...

congrats dear.. =)

I will support you from here. Keep being strong and keep your faith in ALLAH. HE knows what's the best for you.. =)

shedameor said...

study rajin2 yea. bukan senang nak dapat peluang macam ni. kann :)

fierul said...

wahhh smbung stdy .. gud luck ye ..

awak nty sy nk bli zine awak erk .. :)

ta lama lagi sy pun nk buat zine jgak .. :)

Eyda Syahida said...

all the best yea . lame tak singgah sini . salam aidilfitri :)

CaDLyNN said...

alhamdulillah..gunakan peluang yg ade dgn blaja bersungguh2 ye m..akak doakan..

akoo pae kembali? said...

macam mane nak baca zine kamu ek?hee sorii lame menghilang..dah tak ikut pkembangann~

kay_are said...

M ??? tetibe rase nak reveal je =P tapi ape pun bagus r kalau makcik ko concern niat ko nak sambung blaja tu.. so dah dapat peluang camtu guna kan r ngan sebaiknye ok!

Choki said...

Alhamdulillah, HE sent you HIS saviour..Your aunty :-D All the best Kak M ;-)

Liselle MonCherie said...

All the best for your studies and May Allah made everything easy for you. Menuntut ilmu itu adalah Jihad Yeah! :D I miss you babeh!

Reena Shukri said...

all the best kak teenage..u can do it..=)

Badrina Ibtisam said...

Touching saya baca ni hmm all the best for you kak!! =') May Allah bless you, yr aunt & cousin. <3

sue perbs.. said...

insyaallah mesti boleh.. all the best

Eca Dwinky Asha said...

M,zine dah selamat sampai ke Sabah sebelum raya lagi...thanks.eca suka bca....nnti eca review dlm blog yer ;)

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