I know to have my own family, to build my own family seems so impossible right now. Well, for those yang setia membaca my story in this blog since 2011 might know why it is hard for me.
But anyway, right now aku just nak jadi the ordinary girl who dream to have a family on her own. A dream yang aku rasa ramai gadis nak buat bila mereka berkeluarga nanti.
So, here I am. Talking about my 'if' dream.
The first thing I wanna do, is taking pictures. Lotsa them.
I guess for those yang baca blog ni dari awal tau kenapa aku nak ada gambar family on my own. It was my dream before it shattered into pieces.
So, if aku ada family. Ada suami, ada anak-anak, kalau boleh aku nak tangkap banyak gambar. Every moments. happy moments, sad moments, proud moments, heartbreaking moments. Just want to capture every single of it to feel our togetherness.
You know, life is so short. Kalau katakan aku mati dulu sebelum diorang, at least, my kids have a memory about me. And for once, they knew they have that perfect family. Have that complete family pictures.
Of course to have that, I need a husband who can cooperate and not leaving me and our kids alone.
That's why it seems so impossible to have a family. To get married.
Sebab I am difficult and different.
But seriously, if I could have my own family, I want to have a complete and happy portraits of us. Whoever these us are. Hahaha.
I want this for my kids. I really want this for my kids.
I don't want them to be bitter in their future because there is something that they are longing for.
Nah, I know what you think. Bila aku cakap macam ni mesti fikir aku dah ada someone. But no. Seriously. Still single, always I guess.
Who wants a trouble and difficult woman like me anyway?
I wrote this sebab.. mungkin sebab if aku dah tak ada nanti, this is something that people would know about my dream. My girlish and foolish dream
I mean some people are already know yang aku sememangnya punya impian to have a complete family portrait.
So this is just an extended version, if I can build my own family. If I can have my own family.
I will start writing these dreams in my blog. Reality is hurtful.
But at least dreaming can make us smile.
(Of course just for awhile. But its a way of escapism juga kan?)
Wanna dream with me?
Maybe you can share your dreams here. No one will know. Except us.. :') (who read of course. Hahaha)
P/s: be good to everyone. just be good. You'll be fine.